So I have a something I want to talk about...vent about..let you know about...whatever, take it all as you may. I just read an amazing blog, about Tiger, and marriage (I click on links on others blogs, then on others...etc..and came across this, and it really made me think even more than usual. check it out http://twoandthensome.blogspot.com/)
Since getting pregnant with baby #2, WE have had more people as us "Soooo...When are you getting married?" OK. Here are your answers and some questions for you all wondering. #1. We will get married when we get married. #2. How is it your business how we live our lives? #3. Show me a perfect marriage that I want to model after, and maybe I'll do get married tomorrow. #4.How are 2 children any different than 1 when it comes to our relationship status. (Although yes I wanted to crap my pants when I found out we were going to be parents yet again, I was left with no choice other than to be excited. I was told I would never have kids, and to have 2?!...what a blessing.) and #5. How does a piece of paper make our love for each other any more meaningful?
I will address.
#1. We will get married when we get married. I love Zach. He loves me. And we sure don't need any piece of jewlery on our fingers to prove otherwise. (although shiny things are always nice. ha!) We have come an extrememly, EXTREMELY long way in our relationship, and I am proud of us for that. We have grown to be very two awesome people, and amazing parents (obviously this is my opinion that I'm awesome. ::smiles::). Every morning I wake up next to a man that is snoring....that loves me very, very much. He loves our son. He takes care of us. He even ocassionaly does laundry, dishes and ALWAYS vaccuums. (I can't tell you the last time I vaccuumed.) He has come to be to be such an amazing, trustworthy, hilarious, caring, awesome man. Eli loves the crap out of him. When he walks in the room Eli makes faces at him and laughs as though he hasn't seen him in days. We are happy. I am blessed. AND-->We will get married when we get married...
#2. How is it your business? I am NOT being rude, so don't take it for that. Nearly every single person (except for the kick a*& ladies I work with, AND my parents) has asked me "When are you getting married" or "do I hear wedding bells" well like I said in #1. we will when we do, and nope...i hear no wedding bells. do you? ha. right. Thats what I thought. I am trying to figure out how our business became anyone elses. We live together, we pay our mortgage, Eli has lights so he can see us, he has gas so he is warm, he has lots of yummy food and he even as this awesome thing called cable so he can watch all the annoying cartoons they have on TV these days. (Including Wonder Pets...his absolute favorite, you should watch it sometime, its awful. but he loves it...haha.) Yes money is tight, I won't lie to you about that. Sometimes we look at each other and think how in the hell are we going to do this. And yes...we have awesome people in my life that lend a hand from time to time, but still....not your business. Until I ask you to pay my bills, then....you can ask me :)
#3. Show me a perfect marriage....I love everyone in my life, obviously right? or they wouldn't be in my life. But I would have to say 90% of the people I know are either miserable in their marriages, going through a divorce or are divorced. I can say Zach and I are happy, not married, and happy. What a concept. I'm pretty sure I don't want to end up a statistic of marriage..or divorce...I'm good with where we are right now.
#4. How are 2 children any different than 1? Just answer the question adequately enough for me to get married tomorrow. Because I'm pretty sure you don't have the answer I'm looking for...because their isn't one.
#5. How does a piece of paper make our relationship or love anymore meaningful? And another question I would love to hear your answer to. I am not sure there is an answer good enough for this one either. I suppose LEGALLY it makes it "right" but I'm not God, nor are you....so please don't try to play him. We are committed to each other. We aren't waiting around for someone better...obviously. We are in love, we are happy, we are settled, we are good. I know people who have several children together who aren't married and who are happy as ever.... and sadly I cannot say that about most of the married couples I know.
When I told my parents I was pregnant, both times, not one time did either one of them look at me and say get married. Because for starts, they know me, they know Z, and they know I'm happy, and a wedding isn't going to change any of that. I saw an old teacher of mine yesterday and he asked how I was doing. I told him I was a mommy, and going to have another one by May 3rd. And I followed it with "NO, I'm not married" and he looked at me and said, "Are you happy?" I said "Yes" He said "then don't get married, until you are ready to get married." It was so comforting to hear someone who is married, happy and has 3 kids, say that to me. FINALLY someone who doesn't care to crawl into my business, someone who doesnt think 2 kids are different than 1, someone who doesn't care when we get married....and IF he did, he didn't tell me about it, and he kept it to himself.
So ANYWAYS, back to the article I just read....and copied the link to. I have had all of this on my mind for quite sometime. People...friends/family/people have asked all of these questions to both Zach and myself and if they don't say it, I know most of them are thinking it. But why.?? Don't you have kids to worry about or bills to pay?...why are you worried about me and my life? When this stuff happened with Tiger it was just one more reason to validate my opinion on marriage. Yes..I think marriage is awesome, and I can't wait to be married one day....but why today? why tomorrow? why not when we decide to? Tiger has more money than I would know what to do with. He has 2 beautiful kids, a beautiful wife, a career where he gets to play the game he loves when he wants to and makes loads and loads and loads of money doing it. He doesnt HAVE to wake up at the butt crack of dawn to go to a job he hates everyday. I bet you he doesn't come home and have to make dinner, or take care of his kids, or do laundry or even his banking....I betcha he has someone do all that for him..and it all seems perfect, doesnt it? Guess what..its not. I hate what he did, but he is human...and he gave up, and made poor choices....$55 million worth of poor choices.
At least I can say I am not giving up. The life I'm living is Gods plan for me, or I wouldn't be living it. So "You just do You and I'll do ME." :)
xoxo.
Tay
The reason we wake up :)
