New Camera

So I'm having a rough day and trying to make it better by blogging. I'm trying to exhale...and be thankful for the things that I DO have instead of stressing out over what I think I should have.

I got a new camera :)

That is definitely something that makes me very, very happy. I got a Canon Rebel EOS. It is amazing. We are in love. (and when I say we...I mean me and the camera.) Everyday my dreams of becoming a photographer become stronger. I just feel like there is NOTHING more important than capturing moments by photographs. When Bryce died, besides amazing memories, all we had were pictures. . .it became so important to me then. Maybe one day we will be able to afford for me to have an up and coming business so I can do it...probably not, but maybe.
SO here are some pictures from the new camera. Perhaps one day when Eli slows down and lets me take his picture without coming at the camera FULL SPEED...we can have a photoshoot.


one of the many faces of Eli...my paci boy.


Eli and my mom walking into a ball game.


eating pretzels at my dads game in Center Grove.

my blue eyes.


practicing with Lilly


i hate begging dogs...with a passion..and we have 2 of them....and with eli who likes to feed them, it just adds to the problem...ugggggh.

his hair is getting so long


the elmo toothbrush.paci and pooh. everything he needs in life.


love this picture.


mom and payton

payton and my transparent self




skinnnny boy


we took a trip to IU to visit Morgan last Sunday afternoon and tried to take some pictures. Eli wanted to PLAY. how rude of us to try to take pictures! :)


sisters


there is THE belly. Its a good thing I have convinced myself that there is something cute cooking in there or we would have MAJOR issues.


love this picture.

the pale mommy and child :)




mama and her girls.





had to post this for morgan hahahahahaha. we were all trying to get eli to smile and pay attention and this is what we got.



loooove this one :)


the reason my days don't stay bad :) love this little man more than i could ever express.


xoxo
Tay

IMG00228-20100223-2042.jpg

Test. I'm going to try to blog randomly from my phone...not sure if I'm doing it right!
Here is Eli dancing and clapping to Am$erican Idol on Tuesday night!
I bought a new camera and will be posting pictures this weekend. Yes...a new camera. We are in love! (Me and the camera)

pictures

A few pictures for your enjoyment :)

These first 4 pictures are with my cell phone, so excuse the not so wonderful quality :)
Happy boy eating breakfast this morning. He is the joy to everyone of my days. Even if 10 minutes after this picture he was screaming because I couldn't hold him. :)


So glad Eli has good hygiene, at such a young age..hahaha. Please notice both of his hands. . .one has a toothbrush, the other a hair brush. He knows the difference when you tell him to "Brush your hair" or "brush your teeth." He has a hard time putting either one of these things down...and if he has to go somewhere he just carries them in his mouth. I will try to get a picture of that for you!


watching morning cartoons! :)

last weekend we got pictures taken for Zachs grandparents and here is Eli looking like the handsome man he is, before we left the house. :) So funny.


checking out the beds at we b tan! :)


attacking my camera.

loving auntie pay pay


playing on the castle that he got for his birthday from zachs parents.


yup, its in my living room.



precious.


i know i'm bias...but seriously...is he not adorable?


xoxo
Tay

Anxiety

So I am at the we b. Sitting. And I have no idea what this post will turn into...maybe short, maybe long, because I talk too much. But I have been having a hard time lately. But the thing is, I get mad at myself for even saying it. There are women who can't get pregnant, who miscarry and who lose their children soon (or later) after giving birth. I have been around women who have experienced each of these things in the last few weeks, and feel like a horrible person saying lately I have been so sad and anxious. Mom says its my hormones...I hope she is right. I feel like my complaining is horrible, and I have no right to do so, but I also feel like it is out of my control.
Just last week I had a friend say to me "You never blog about being pregnant, or about baby #2." But its because this has been such a different pregnancy. I am so exhausted I can't even think straight. I am so thankful for the fact that I can get pregnant and carry a baby to healthy term. I am so thankful for my Eli and for Zach and all of the things that I have in my life....So I hope that I have this little "baby bob" (he still has no name) my hormones will all go back into sync and I can find a little more energy and get into a routine.
I am stressed out about having 2 little ones that are only going to be just under 15 months apart. I can't imagine sharing my love that I have for Eli. I just can't fathom loving someone/thing as much as I love Eli. I don't want Eli to feel like he is being neglected (although I hope, b/c he is so young that he won't even remember or care)So so many emotions. I just think too much, I think.
So about being knocked up for a 2nd time....there is definitely a baby in there. He is a busy one. I think Eli was a little busier in utero, at least throughout the day...but "Bob" (we are NOT naming him Bob..its just what we have been calling him, so calm down) is EXTREMELY active at night, and when I TRY to sleep. He isn't as busy throughout the day like Eli was. He has a lot harder kicks, and has strategically placed a foot or arm or something in my ribs...right in the middle like...by my breastbone, I guess is what I'd call it....making it hard to breathe the last few days. I CRAVE peppermint Lifesavers. I have gone through almost an entire bag in a day. I don't care so much about the flavor as much as I do the "bite" of it...I like the texture. I'm weird. But at least it isn't chocolate cake. right?

I am huge. Well I feel huge. I am about as big as I was when I gave birth to Eli. (I dont have any belly pictures....I suppose I could do that for you in the next couple of weeks, for those far away who don't get the blessing of seeing me regularly! ::smiles::) My weight has fluctuated back and forth making it to where I haven't gained or lost anything. I'm at the same weight as I was from day 1. I am having BIG TIME problems with feeling faint and like I'm going to pass out. The Dr says its because I am not drinking enough water. blah blah blah. water sucks. Not to mention its usually first thing in the morning when Eli is like FLYING through the house, or standing at my pantleg whining for me to pick him up and hyper as ever, and I'm trying to get ready, and feed him and on my feet with not sitting down...and yeah...you get the point. My hips KILLLLLL, but I think its because our bed is so hard. I'm pretty sure if i tried to sleep on the bathroom floor, my hips would be in better shape. I keep telling Zach I need a cot or a pillow topper, he doesn't get it. He could sleep on the bathroom floor and be perfectly fine with it...he can sleep ANYWHERE.

SO yeah...that's what you are getting out of me today. I feel like a whiny, ungrateful person saying some of the things I've said. Don't get me wrong I am very thankful...I just think I'm having wicked anxiety about whats ahead. So sorry for whining...but there you go.
xoxo
Tay
PS if you have tried to look at Eli's slideshow from his birthday and it wouldn't let you (which no one freaking told me! I figured it out on my own) I think I have it fixed. For some reason it was set to private...whatever!

Birthday pictures

Hopefully this will work! I was able (after MUCH MUCH MUCH FRUSTRATION) able to make a slideshow and put it on YouTube and add it to here. Hopefully this works!! Enjoy! and note..some of the pictures are out of order...deal with it!! ::smiles::
xoxo
Tay

Eli turns 1!

So I CANNOT believe my precious little boy is 1 year old! It has gone by SO fast! I feel like just yesterday I wanted to die while having contractions. ::smiles:: I also feel like it was yesterday that I was hyperventilating at the sight of a positive pregnancy test. I remember the fears that I had, regarding our life ahead, were so big. But now I look back and cannot imagine life without my little man. He is so much fun, and is getting quite verbal…and doing a great job of letting us know what he wants. I have taught him a few signs so it is easier for him to communicate with us (such as “more”, and “finished”…along with a few more) It’s also interesting to see him mimic us already…such as yelling and pointing at the dogs…is pretty comical.

A few things about Eli…if you wanted to know (if you didn’t, I don’t care, I’m telling you anyways)
*He weighs 20lbs 1oz (15^th percentile)
*He is 28.5inches long (20^th percentile….let’s be honest, did you expect him to be tall? Zach and I are both 5’5 or 5’6 on a good, nice, tennis shoe/boot wearing day :Hahaha: )
*His head measured in the 70^th percentile….as though you should be surprised. Zach and I both have big heads!
*He doesn’t like you (particularly me) to leave him in a room without telling him where you are going. As long as I tell him where I’m going (as if he actually knows what the hell I’m saying) he is usually ok. If I don’t tell him, I can count on a panicking, screaming little boy looking for me, frantically.
*He loves peek-a-boo!
*He loves to dance! He will stop whatever he is doing if he hears music of any sort.
*He loves to shut himself in random rooms in the house and play. He thinks its hilarious when you find him. This annoys me. Hahaha.
*He loooooves his Daddy.
*In the last month or so he hasn’t had the best sleeping habits. We think he is having night terrors. He wakes up SCREAMING a few times a night, and it is obvious he has no idea what is going on or where he is. Usually we go through this about 4 or 5 times a night before finally we just put him in bed with us. Some people are against the co-sleeping situation….but I suggest you stay out of my business…I love cuddling! ::smiles::
*He loves to blow on things. By this I mean…if I put food on his highchair tray that he thinks might be hot, or things that aren’t hot…he tries to blow on them so they aren’t “hot” anymore. Its possibly the cutest thing I've ever seen.
*He likes to throw food. And when I tell him “No, No, Eli we don’t throw food.” He laughs and throws more. This also annoys me.
*He won't drink water or milk out of a sippy cup. He gets very pissed and throws the cup....at you...or me...whatever.
*He adores animals. I CANNOT wait to take him to the zoo!
*He likes to make silly faces, and see what reaction he will get out of you. If you laugh, he will keep it going! It's precious.
*He loves the bathtub. If you tell him “On your MARK, get SET, GO!!” He will lay on his belly and "swim." I can’t wait to get him into swim lessons this summer!
*He POOPED in the bathtub last night, and thought it was hilarious. I however disagree with him. I was not ammused while I scrubbed the tub and toys down for 20 minutes following the “incident.”
*He loves books. LOVES them. I’ve never seen a little soul love books so much. We read them all the time. It makes me happy…b/c Zach and I like to read magazines and street signs and that’s about it. SO I hope this lasts for E.
*He has a temper. Hmmm…I wonder where he got that from?! I like to blame it on my dad. Hahaha.
*He likes to “work” on things. He will flip over his trucks or little car things and inspect them and “work” on them. Its adorable and so “Zach” like.
*He loves to eat. There is barely anything this kid doesn’t like. His favorites are Grilled Cheese, Mac and Cheese, Lima Beans, red meat (steak, meatloaf, and roast beef), green beans, noodles of any sort and Ice cream J. Those are just SOME of his favs. He will eat pretty much anything, which I am SOOO thankful for.
*He tried to bite Carter at his birthday party. While others think this is funny, I am traumatized by it because I fear he will do this do his little brother (still nameless). My mom says its fine. I even asked the Dr. and he said he was ok and normal as well. I pray he won’t do this again. I’m freaking out.
*Umm I know I have left some things out but he is pretty much all around amazing, and so much fun to be around.

Thanks to my Mom, Nana, Aunt Kari, Grandma Lake (Zach’s AMAZING grandma, who helps us more than she will ever realize!) and others for their contributions to the party! We had a great turn out even though we got tons of snow the day before! I said the SHOW MUST GO ON!! Especially for me little handsome man! Zach and Uncle Matt (Zachs soon to be Brother in Law) snowplowed and shoveled so Eli's guests had room to park.
Eli got TONS of books and lots of clothes. He got so many toys for Christmas; I didn’t want him to get tons more. I told a lot of people to get him nothing, he doesn’t know the difference, but when they insisted, I suggested books and clothes and he made out like a little bandit! He also got some toys, bathtub toys, a dumptruck he can scoot along in, a great “Cars” chair from my parents, that he loves, and a CASTLE from his Mamaw and Papa T (Zachs parents). We have yet to put it together (its more for outside, but I imagine will soon be taking up space in either my living room or garage.), but it comes complete with a slide and a swing…and don’t forget the telescope! Haha! I can’t wait to see the look on this kids face when he sees it all put together :smiles:

I am BEYOND frustrated with Blogger and my photobucket (where i can put the links on here so my pictures show up) because neither one of them are cooperating with me. So right now you are just getting words...no pictures..I will try to post some pictures in a separate post.

xoxo
Tay