[[060702]]

06.07.02....
the day I lost my best friend, my little brother.
Everyday I think about Bryce, every birthday I think about him more, on the anniversary of his death...I think about him more...but for some reason, yesterday...the 7 year anniversary was harder for me than ever. He died at 16....and I often ask myself..where would he be now? His best friend Cory just graduated from Ball State...would he be beside Cory? Would he have gone somewhere else to college? Would he be playing basketball? Would he have a girlfriend? Kids? What kind of job would he have? Its kind of neat to think about what he "would be."
But for some reason, like I said, it was harder than ever for me yesterday.....
I think it may be because I now have a son of my own, and I can't imagine my life without him. I think maybe its because I am so incredibly heartbroken that Eli will never be able to meet his Uncle Bryce. I think its because maybe, some people forgot what day it was and crushed my heart and made me feel like they didn't remember him. I usually get phone calls and/or texts from friends and certain family...and I only heard from a few. Or maybe its just b/c I'm a woman...and some days are just worse than others.
I remember the day as if it was yesterday. I try not to be morbid on my blog....I don't like to be sad at all...but its difficult to NOT remember the images imprinted in my brain from that day. You never know how you would react in a situation like that. But to be 19 years old, as I was, and watch your brother pass away........it stays with you forever. Its so hard not to think about everyday. I miss him so much.
We didn't do much yesterday. Morgan had some open houses to go to, Payton went to a friends house, we had a friends open house to go to.....so we all kind of were busy. Zach and I went to pick up Eli (we went to the Rascal Flatts concert on Saturday night and mom and dad watched Eli for us.) and hung out for a while. . .went to the open house. . .then Eli, Zach and I went to Zachs mom and dads for our Sunday night dinner :) I feel so greatful for them....they are so wonderful to me.
It was a sad day. I cried a lot. I think I just can't imagine losing my Eli....and I ache for my parents.
But I know our "boy" (boy is what we used to call bryce) is in a better place, looking down on us always.

Here are a few pictures that I have on the computer...I don't have any of him older scanned...so sorry about that. But these are my favorite.

the day bryce was born...our first meeting. :)

our first trip to the beach in NC

at our house on summer road :)

the beach :)

xoxo
Tay
sorry to be a "debbie downer" but I can't let that day pass without talking about it.