am.i.normal

So...I haven't really discussed this with anyone..and I will not go into great detail, b/c like I've said before I have no idea who reads this and I dont want anyone to get angry or whatever stupid things people like to make up in their minds and feel....

But I am so anxious. . . not in a bad way. . .in a nervous way. . .in an I have no idea in hell how I'm going to do this, kind of way.


The only person I have really talked to about this is Zach. This is because I know he feels the same way. For those of you who know us well enough, you know that our relationship is a weird one, and in some bizarre, twisted way, it works for us. Dont ask, b/c I won't even attempt to explain it to you. And while we plan on doing this one day at a time, today it is still leaving us at doing it together, but apart. Does that make sense? Because if it doesnt, thats ok, but just imagine how we/I feel. The living in 2 houses, the discussion of our relationship...with not being married....with us being so on and off...its so disheartening and frustrating I can't begin to let you in. You dont have time, and if you asked, and I actually started to tell you, you would want to walk away. I annoy myself with it. ((just ask steph))

My fears are probably normal ones of any "single" mommy. I am lucky that Zach is being so supportive right now, and that things are going well. I am lucky to have such amazing parents, grandparents, cousins, and aunts and uncles that aren't preaching to me about the importance of being married. Please dont think that I dont think about that EVERYDAY. It makes me sad that I'm not married. It makes me sad that I dont live in the same house with little mans daddyo....a lot of this makes me sad. But I know that this little boy will have more love than he knows what to do with...that is one thing I DO know.

....which brings me to a whole other issue that I won't go into. But my living situation is, (I'm afraid) about to get complicated. I have no IDEA which direction to go, as I'm being pulled in several directions. Its stressing me the hell out!!! Yikes. But I will leave it at that...b/c I'm clueless as to what the "right" thing to do is. I know what I want to do, and what I should probably do, are 2 totally different things, and that annoys me. I will tell you when we/I have decided what is best for me, Zach and the little man. (which by the way HE does have a name...but for right now, you aren't going to know it!)

I have always wanted to have children, but right now just wasnt the plan. God had a different plan obviously, and I am thankful. I'm just having a hard time adjusting with the fact that in 4 short months, getting up and going to Stephs, my parents, Kroger, or the mall, is not going to be a simple or easy task. I wont be able to call friends and plan a night at the bar every weekend like we did. My life as I now know it, will never again be......as my father CONTINUES to remind me. And I am finding this to be true considering how WARPED my body feels...he is already taking over. hahaha!

Is it normal that I cried on the phone to Zach about this for an hour yesterday morning, but went to bed confident that I can do this, that we can do this....while apart, yet twistedly together?. . . for now.
Is it normal to be terrified of birth?! I think that it is. I dont know how long, or when labor will occur, or if it will be scheduled, or if I'll be cleaning a tanning bed and end up with a puddle of water under my feet. ha! I have NO clue what I'm doing.

Please dont think I'm having panic attacks about this, because I'm not. Just loooooooots and lots of thoughts going thru my mind alllll the time....so you get to read about them :)

I know that every night when I lay my head down that even though things are stressing me out "now," in the "end" things are going to be just fine. . . . .

. . . I just hate the wait time in between "now" and "just fine"


xoxo
Tay

New Look

So...I have given the blog a facelift. Lately I have been having an obsession with Brown and Blue together. In fact, I have even registered for all of the bedding and things for "little man" to be brown and blue. I love it so very much. My bed spread in my room is even brown and blue. hahahaha. Let me know if you like it!!

I tried to put an ultrasound picture on the top of the blog instead of the picture of me and the sisters, but it didn't fit and it looked WAAAAY too big! So its me and the girls for the time being, they are my life, and absolutely amazing, if I do say so myself!!! :)

xoxo
tay

"Don't.Vote"

Love it.

http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2008/10/breaking_news.php

Funny

I just had to share this.

Man Charged After Allegedly Passing Gas Toward Cop
West Virginia Man Charged With Battery After Allegedly Passing Gas Toward A Police Officer
SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va., Sep. 24, 2008

A West Virginia man has been charged with battery on a police officer for allegedly passing gas toward a patrolman. Jose Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg was also charged with driving under the influence, driving without headlights and two counts of obstruction.Cruz was pulled over by South Charleston police Tuesday for driving without headlights. After failing field sobriety tests, Cruz was taken to the station for a breathalyzer test.The criminal complaint says that as a patrolman was preparing the machine, Cruz scooted his chair over, lifted his leg, passed gas and fanned it toward the officer.Cruz was also allegedly very uncooperative during the entire arrest process.Cruz admits passing gas, but said it wasn't aimed at the officer. He also denies being drunk and uncooperative.



He claimed that after several attempts to allow the officers to let him use the restroom he was denied. He said he stomach hurt really bad. bahahahahha



I was just minding my own business and ran across this story yesterday. So incredibly hilarious. I went looking for it today, so i could post it and there was another article saying the charges were dropped. Either way ...Thank you sir....thank you for that smile you put on my face!

xoxo
Tay

half.way.there!

So as of Sunday I was 20 weeks! The half way mark...and wow has it flown by! It seems like just yesterday I was sitting in the bathroom hyperventilating staring at a positive pregnancy test, and calling Steph to ask her what the hell I was supposed to do. ::smiles:: Now I'm registering for baby showers, buying the cutest little outfits and hats ever, and trying to figure out what name we want to give this little man to carry for the rest of his life. Its pretty crazy, to think that in a little more than 4 months from now I'm going to be a mom. YIKES!!!!

On Sunday, Mom, Payton, Nana and myself took a trip to Babys R Us and I registered! It was really overwhelming. (Eventually I just gave Payton the scanner-gun thingy and told her to start scanning stuff that I said I liked...or wanted..haha) Everything is just SOOOO expensive and I felt like a greeedy gal registering for some things. But mom told me it was ok, and that its normal for 4 or 5 people to go in together and buy the big things. It was also really stressful to try to find different things that I would think I/he would need...different bottles, blankets, etc. Its just really insane that 5 months or so ago I was going out every weekend with friends, and now every weekend I'm one week closer to being a mom and trying to figure out how all of this is going to work. I'm a little freaked out. But I know I'll be fine....

Stephanie is throwing me a shower on November 1st. We are calling this the "Random Shower." It will all be all my friends/their moms/stephs family that has been my family for years/my North Central family and some others. She has always wanted to throw someone a shower, and is DETERMINED that even though she will be 8 months pregnant, that she is going to throw me the best shower ever! She is crazy!! On top of all of it, she couldnt just buy regular invitations...she had to go to the scrapbook store and buy things to make her own. So on Tuesday, I figured the least I could do was help her make the invites. She is such a wonderful friend, and it is guarenteed hours of laughs when we are together. I'm very lucky :)


after we made some of the invites :)


the shower invites....made from scratch!
pretty nifty if i do say so myself. that steph is just so crafty!

Little man has been kicking away, and is so kind to be laying on my syatic nerve (i dont know if i'm spelling that right, but I think you get my point.) and that is sending some nasty pains shooting down my butt and thighs. So that has been rather annoying. Sleeping it getting uncomfortable too. But other than that I'm great :) I love it when he kicks..I talk to him. Even though he is nameless. :) There is a name that I am pretty sure we have decided on, but sometimes I just don't know! I think we need to have a couple and when he joins this crazy world, we will decide then! WHO KNOWS! :) 9 months is tooooo long of a time for Zach and I to decide something and actually stick with it....

I hope everyone is well!

xoxo
Tay

Update on Grandpa

For some reason they continue to push back Grandpa's surgery. It is frustrating to me, b/c you would think a quadruple bypass would be top priority, but apparently not. But the surgery is for tomorrow (Friday). Morgan, Payton and I are going to go visit him tonight for a little bit I think. So please keep Gpa Petty in your prayers! :) Thanks!!

xoxo
Tay

Prayers

My Grandpa (Moms dad) has had a lot of health issues come up VERY suddenly in the last 2 or 3 weeks. He is having to have open heart surgery on Monday morning. So please keep Gpa Petty and my moms family in your prayers. He is a tough cookie :) Thanks so much.

xoxo
tay

[[boy.crazy]]

So...my blood pressure has gone down following the excitement of finding out we are having a little boy, and I'm back to being tired again. hahaha! For the record, if you are following any of this, right after they told us we were having a boy, they took my blood pressure and it was SKY HIGH. It was 143/93. I have NEVER in my life had a high blood pressure, so they said it was probably just because I was excited. They took it like 20 minutes later and it was back down to 100/70ish. So yeah..hahaha.
Also I forgot to mention I have gained 2 lbs...back of the 8 I originally lost...so does that make it 2 lb gain or 6 lb loss??....ummmmm lets take the 6lb loss! ha! Regardless of what the correct amount is, in the last 24/36 hours I feel LARGE. I feel like I have ballooned the last couple of days. My belly is growing and its hard. I just feel uncomfortable.Its weird. But my mom tells me to shut up and suck it up. She says I'm only half way done, and it just gets worse. ha. Thanks mom!! ::smiles::

Little man is kicking away though. He loves when I drink orange juice, and he loves when I eat peaches. And he doesnt like it when I cry.(which I am extremely hormonal, so yeah. . .) Thats when he starts moving around the most! Its so funny. I always talk to him when he kicks me...they say that babies can recognize sounds and vibrations of voices this early. Pretty nifty. I guess stretched out he is about 10 inches long and weighs about 1 lb. The doctor said if he were born today he would fit in my hand perfectly. Insane.

Morgan also brought me a salad last night from Olive Garden, shes the best (Manning and I were over at my parents house), and I guess it decided I couldnt just eat it and enjoy it. Instead it was going to give me the worst heartburn I have ever had in my life. I thought I was dying. Seriously. Not being funny. I went home and ate Sherbert (it seems to help me a lot with my Acid Refulx and Heartburn) and went to bed at 9:30. I'm cool. ha. Woke up at 7:30 (that includes about 4 trips to pee in the middle of the night, if you wanted to know), and I'm still tired! But again, mom tells me to suck it up and get used to it. haha.

and lastly...everyone is on my behind about names. I will give you a list of names Zach and I are considering...which could easily change, so don't get too excited...and you can tell me what you like, but if you tell me what you dont like, I'm never talking to you again (I'm kind of kidding here, kind of). I am EXTREMELY critical about names and I hate it when people give me a reason to not like a name I actually like. Picking boy names are soooooooooo hard. If it was a girl, we had the name set, and it wasn't moving, but this boy name thing is killing me..so anyways..the names are....

1. Rylan
2. Caleb
3. Owen
*They are all different, but not too different*

I like Connor and Hudson too, Zach says no. hahaha.
We both really like Alex, but both have cousins named alex.....
IF Zach had his way, today it would be Riley William Keith Landis. (I think its too feminine)
IF I had my way, today it would be Zane Brycen Keith Landis. (he thinks its too off the wall)
So...as you see we have some work to do :)
And I must throw in here, that my dad says unless its name is Douglas, he simply does not care what we name it. He is a loser!!! hahaha.
He will probably have 2 middle names...after Bryce (using either Brycen...a form of Bryce..obviously or William..Bryces middle name..obviously) and Keith...which is a family name in Zachs family. Its trendy these days to have more than one middle name. So I suppose we will go with the trend :) Like I said...these names will probably change a million times. I have a baby name book by my bed and come up with different names all the time. Zach thinks I'm crazy for the names I come up with. Its kind of funny. OK..this is long enough! Sorry!


So anyways..here a few pictures :)
Have a happy and safe weekend.

I went to Target and bought a few outfits..teehee. Who knew baby
clothes were so cheap?! and just so dang cute!
I'm going to get myself into trouble! hahaha


GO IU!!!!

GO HORSE!!!!


It says "Born to Ride." I found it appropriate considering that is
his daddys favorite thing to do....and used to be My dads favorite
too!


Zach and I at Journey...i love the random lady in the gray shirt
,behind us, trying to get up. Zach is mid blink, I think, and I
am accumlulating several chins. Its awesome :(


Mr. Manning. with his favorite tennis ball.
He is the goofiest dog ever. Love him :)

Its a little.........

BOY!!!!!!!!!

So this morning we got to the Doctor @ 9 and had to sit and wait for a few minutes...we were sooo anxious. (we was me, Zach and my mom) So finally she called us back and she started taking all of these measurements of the baby and all that jazz. I was like..."So...have you ever been wrong on the sex of babies" and she seemed extremely insulted..so i told her I wasn't trying to insult her..I just wanted to know. ha. She said in 20 years of her being an Ultrasound Tech she has missed less than 5. So..I decided to take her word for it. So she is still taking measurements and clicking and all that business...and finally she goes "So, you guys want to know right?!" and Zach and mom stood up really fast and she turned the screen and said "You are no doubt, having a boy..that is VERY obvious" bahahaha! So while I was wiping tears from my eyes zach and mom were hugging..and so happy. She took a couple minute long video of our little man waving and I think he was sucking his thumb and putting his little hand under his head. It was precious. If I can figure out how to get the video on here, I will definitely upload it! :) Its on VHS...so it will be hard..but I might be able to tape it off of the TV with my own digital camera! Anways...We were all sooooooooooo excited. I can't wipe the smile off of my face.
I had an appt at 9:30 with the Doctor (this was the first time meeting her) so while we were waiting the first thing I did was call Steph!! I promised her she would be the first to know!! :) Mom called Dad and told him he was going to have a Grandson. And Zach called his sister :) We were just so elated we couldnt' stand it. Zach just kept saying..."its a boy....its a boy" we just can't stop smiling :)
The Doctor was nice. She said everything looked great. I decided to have some blood drawn to check for Down Syndrome and other Chromosmal birth defects. I was at battle about whether or not to do this. I didnt know if I wanted to know ahead of time, but my dad and I talked about it and I realized if there is something wrong that I would like to be properly prepared...as much as I could. So I decided to go ahead and do that. So, she said I would hear back in the next couple of days.
After leaving the Doctor Zach and I walked over to see our friend Amanda (she works in the building connected to the hospital where my Dr. is) and told her in person. She was so excited too!!!
Then I went to see Aunt Kari at her work to tell her! Then I texted and called everyone and headed up to North Central to see Dad! I went to Lunch with him and he showed everyone the pictures ,and he emailed all of his coaches and a few close friends that don't work at NC. He CANNOT wipe the smile off of his face!! After 3 sisters, a mother, 3 daughters and a wife...he is so happy to have another boy back in our lives!!! :) We are blessed.


and yes.. I did go to Target and buy some little Onsies. bahaha. I couldn't control myself. I will take pictures of them and post them tomorrow for sure!

And names...yeah....you can keep guessing. Because now that I know its a boy, I am not too sure about the names that we have been thinking of. ::smiles::

Here are a few more pictures from the Ultrasound! :)


Scary Skelator Face! He is looking at us. We could see the lense in his eye. It was so awesome!


So in love with this little man!!!


His little profile!! :)

So there you have it. My intuition was right....and we are so glad everything looked so great.
xoxo
Tay

Heart on Fire

So I was informed today, that I dont update enough :) teehee. Sometimes I feel like no one really reads this thing..but I suppose some people do, so I will make sure I update more often!!

I am now 18.5 weeks.....and we find out the sex (hopefully!!!!) on Monday, I will be 19 weeks and 1 day! Zach and I couldn't be more excited to find out, so we dont have to refer to my, recent exploding, belly as "it" anymore! We both think its a boy, but I think its wishful thinking. teehee. We will of course be excited with a little princess too! We have picked out a name for a boy and a girl so far. I picked the girl name, and he is growing to love it. and he picked the boy name, and I too, am working on loving it everyday. And I may decide to tell everyone when it gets closer, but people are still being rude and stupid when I mention names I like (b/c they are usually really different, and unique), so we may not ever tell until February!!! We shall see! But the names may change so whateva!! Maybe I'll give you a list of names we like, and you can keep your comments to yourself and try to guess on what we offically decided! I love these ideas I come up with. ::smiles::

so. . . . .

Ive been fighting NASTY bouts of heartburn and acid reflux. It is so annoying, and painful! I also recently have been feeling like my hands are on fire. Its pretty painful (and annoying as ever) and after googling it and talking to my cousin Julie(she had the same problem when she was preggo), it appears to be the onset of Carpel Tunnel. I will definitely talk to the doctor about it on Monday and see what she says! Its not constant, just random, and awfully frustrating and it doesnt feel very good.

My belly has somewhat expoloded, as I like to say, this past week. To anyone else it just kind of looks like I'm getting fatter (b/c i wasn't the thinnest lady in the world to begin with!), but to me, its a baby bump. I feel the peanut kicking and moving all the time. Its still pretty low where I feel it, but I'm not complaining, after hearing horror stories of babies kicking ribs and such, I'm ok with below the belly button jabs! I haven't been able to feel it from the outside yet, and Zach hasn't felt it either. But when Zach is around and talking, the baby moves everywhere and kicks me all over the place. Its pretty neat, that I think it knows his voice and is responding to it.
We went to the Journey concert the other night (which by the way was a terrible show, and I was extremely disappointed. Heart was AWESOME, and we should have just left after that! But we did have a great time and had great company, Journey just didn't put on a good show) So anyways...we were at the concert and the baby wasn't moving at all, and as soon as we got into the car it was kicking the mess out of me! So perhaps it is a good thing that it can tolerate loud nosies, and will be a heavy sleeper like its daddyo. Is this wishful thinking?? hahaha!

My parents go on walks every Saturday and Sunday morning (and that is if dad isnt golfing) and last weekend they came across some Garage Sales. My dad (who is beyond excited about being a Grandpa and making Christmas "exciting again" as he says) bought the peanut a BIKE! with TRAINING wheels. teeeheee! I was working at the Salon and he brought it up there to show me. He was so proud and I am very thankful! It is red and yellow and very boyish...he too, is swearing its a boy!! I think missing Bryce so much has made us all that way! But again, a princess will have us all eating out of her little hands!! So its about 4 or 5 years too early, but there is a bike waiting for him/her. hahahaha! My mom has bought a lot of things too so far for "our baby" as she calls it. After the intial shock of everything, they have become the most amazing, support group I have! I'm so lucky to have such amazing, supportive parents. Truly blessed, I am.

Well...my cell phone broke again! So thank goodness I have the day off and I can go get it replaced! I hope everyone is doing well! I will try to take some pictures this weekend, we are actually going out and doing fun stuff (not belly pictures, Audra...sorry about your luck! maybe ill take some and just send them to you, but i dont know who reads this thing and i have a feeling this belly is going to get scary looking! haha) and post them...have a great weekend!!

xoxo
Tay